Just Heard, Just Read, Just Seen

Writers: Melissa Rosenberg, Stephenie Meyer (novel)

Stars:  Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner

I admit I enjoyed the first Twilight story – both the book and the movie (though my preference would definitely sit with the book). The sparkly vampires didn’t bother me, mostly because I never thought of Twilight as anything but a love story.  No different to Romeo and Juliet (and yes I know I’m going to be in the brown, sticky stuff for comparing the two but come on, romance is romance okay?) By the time I got to Breaking Dawn I have to say I was over it and my honest opinion was Twilight not only could have stood alone as a single title, it should have.  But who am I to argue with the spending power of tweens the world over?  Especially when my 11 year old daughter is one of those tweens.

So having sat through all the other movies with her – and relieved to find that apart from a mild interest in Jacob, she’s not yet interested in the more intimate details of the love triangle – I was roped in to see Breaking Dawn.  Evidently it doesn’t fall under the scope of things you can bribe older brothers into doing on your behalf. I will grudgingly concede I have enjoyed Robert Pattinson’s other films, notably Remember Me, so I suppose it’s safe to put me in the Team Edward camp.

Which is why you could find me a week ago, at Hoyts munching on popcorn and wondering just how much  Pattinson were we actually going to see and who would be more uncomfortable – me or Miss 11?

The most striking thing about this movie is listening to the girls in the theatre – most of whom were between 11 and 16 the day we went.  Teams Jacob and Edward were either evenly split that day, or when bare chests are revealed allegiance is thrown to the wind…hmmm from what I remember of being that age, it’s probably the latter….

Wedding planners the world over probably adore Breaking Dawn – I’m sure it has done more for making a wedding ceremony desirable than any royal nuptials have in the past fifty years.  Yes, the wedding scene is long and drawn out and just a bit tedious – but then aren’t wedding ceremonies that way anyway, no matter how excited or happy you might be? The Dress was certainly a scene stealer- although the mixed message of ‘very sensual virgin’ may have (hopefully) been lost on the audience.  Pattinson, who normally does have a certain sex appeal (okay I think I’m officially in Team Edward with that statement), looked pale and wishy-washy throughout the wedding scene and I found his declaration of love mildly nauseating – but judging by the wave of sighs that went through the cinema that was not a feeling shared by other viewers.

Which brings us to The Honeymoon Scene. To be honest, I think this was the best part of the entire film – and I don’t mean that the way you think I do. This was the scene I worried about the most with regards to my daughter. I’m no prude but honestly how explicit does it need to be for this age group?  So I was very relieved when it was very tasteful, with pretty much everything left to the imagination and only the merest hints of innuendo.  Pattinson no longer looked like he was about to expire (can vampires do that?) and Stewart was convincing and amusing in her nervousness.  All in all, it was…nice and I think a few of the older teens there got a lesson in just how powerful ‘less is more’ can be.

Sadly, it went downhill from there.  Bella’s pregnancy was even more drawn out than the wedding, which is ironic given that it’s a supernaturally fast pregnancy and the ending was predictable even if you hadn’t read the books.

It’s not the greatest movie out there but it is not exactly the worst either. There are worse movies your teens could be seeing.  There is nothing explicit and there’s nothing overly disturbing (the birth of a vampire-human baby not withstanding  - and to be honest that’s a storm in a teacup too) and if there’s no award winning performances in it, well were you expecting there to be?

Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt 1 is what it sets out to be: the winding up of the story. The ends are being tied of nice and neatly. This is good – if only because it means that after next year’s release of Part Two, I won’t have to sit through any more of them.

RATING: 4/10